It's Men's Health Week (15 to 21 June 2026), and we wanted to mark it with a conversation that goes beyond sperm counts and lifestyle tips. So we sat down with Shaun Greenaway, who runs peer support groups for men through the Male Fertility Hub, to talk about male fertility and mental health: the side of the journey that rarely gets discussed. Shaun has lived it himself, and he's spent the last five years helping other men through it.
What follows isn't easy reading in places. It's also some of the most important ground we've covered on this blog.
"It's wrapped up in identity"
The conversation started somewhere unexpected: hair loss. For Shaun, it's a daily topic in the groups he runs, and a perfect example of how men's physical health and sense of self are tangled together.
"For some people, it is wrapped up in identity, how they perceive themselves," he told us. "It goes beyond simply saying shave it off. Often those comments come from people who don't understand."
The same pattern shows up in gym culture. Shaun described overhearing two men in their early twenties deep in conversation about optimisation protocols, and the recent flood of articles on "looksmaxxing" and "sperm maxxing". Awareness of health is a good thing, he's clear on that. But when self-improvement becomes obsession, it starts costing men the very thing it promises: feeling good.
There's a harder edge to this too. Shaun has supported men who took steroids young, "to look better, to get the girl", without ever being told what external testosterone does to sperm production. Years later, wanting to start a family, they discovered the damage, which is sometimes irreversible. "I've seen the impact it's had on them," he said. "That guilt and blame piece comes up for anyone who goes through fertility challenges. But when you've done something intentionally that has led to it, even unknowingly at the time, you can compound those feelings a hundred times over."
Shaun knows that guilt first-hand. His own infertility was caused by an illness, nothing he did. "It was nothing I did on purpose, but I struggled massively with that blame, that guilt aspect. Because it was coming from my side."
The pressure cooker
Why do men carry this alone? Shaun traces it right back to the playground.
"You're being told that's not what boys do. You're not being armed and equipped with the tools you need as a healthy, functioning adult." He remembers being a child, taking a football to the face in winter, feeling tears coming, and hearing it instantly: don't cry. "What is 'man up'? It's two words that have done so much damage over the years."
The result, decades later, is what he calls the pressure cooker. "We buried our heads in the sand. Those feelings and emotions aren't going anywhere. All they're doing is building up, and like a pressure cooker, they will find a way out."
For Shaun, that meant withdrawing from everyone after his diagnosis. Friends, family, the things that brought him joy. Partly to avoid the questions ("so when are you two going to start having kids?") and partly because hiding felt safer. "It's a no-win situation, because then you cut yourself off from support, and from the things that bring you joy, and that can lead to further mental health complications."
"You can leave if you want to"
The most striking moment in the conversation was about Shaun's wife.
"I said to my wife at the time: you can go, you can leave if you want to. I cannot give you what you want. And pretty much every bloke I know who has gone through infertility has said that to their partner too."
It's such a common reaction because of what's drilled into men about their role, he explained. When fertility is threatened, many men instinctively want to "pull the rip cord", to release their partner rather than face the situation together.
And the standard male coping strategy, staying silent to "be strong" for a partner, backfires. "If men think that by sitting there and bottling it up to be strong for their partner is what they need, it isn't," Shaun said. As Fran put it during the conversation: "She probably needed you to cry with her. You're both grieving at the same time."
What actually helps
Shaun is careful not to reduce the answer to "just talk", because he knows it's not that simple. But his advice from five years of running support groups and as a coach, and from his own hardest moments, is practical.
Find a safe space, not just any space. "Men do talk. I see it every day. They need a safe space to do so, somewhere they're comfortable, with other guys who can sit in the mud with them. People who get it." Some men speak straight away in his groups; others sit and listen for weeks first. Both are fine.
Release it however works for you. Talking is one outlet, not the only one. Journaling, writing notes in your phone, exercise. Shaun lives near cliffs and has gone running along them shouting into the wind. "If you're holding anger, find your way of releasing it."
Don't rule out professional support. Shaun avoided counselling for years because the word itself felt like weakness. "When I did it, eventually, I was like: I should have done this three years ago. You've got nothing to lose."
Look after yourself first. A friend gave Shaun a piece of advice during the most painful period of his life, after his father died: "Don't get to the point where you're no help to anyone." It stuck. "Sometimes the best way of being selfless is to be selfish and fill your own cup. If you want to be able to support others, you have to make sure you're in a good place yourself, rather than running on fumes."
Frequently asked questions
How does male infertility affect mental health?
A fertility diagnosis can trigger guilt, blame, grief and withdrawal from friends and family. Many men feel their identity is challenged and stay silent to appear strong, which tends to make things worse. Peer support, counselling and open conversations with a partner all help.
Why do men find it hard to talk about fertility?
Many men are conditioned from childhood not to show emotion, and fertility carries an added layer of stigma around masculinity. Shame and the fear of difficult questions often lead men to withdraw exactly when support matters most.
Does male infertility affect relationships?
It can. Many men withdraw or try to stay silent to protect their partner, when both partners are usually grieving at the same time. Couples who acknowledge that shared grief, rather than hiding it from each other, tend to cope better.
Where can men get support with fertility and mental health?
Peer support groups such as the Male Fertility Hub offer safe spaces to talk with men who have been through it. GPs can refer for counselling, and charities like Fertility Network UK run dedicated support for men. Journaling and exercise can also help release difficult emotions.
Men account for around 50% of all infertility cases, yet the emotional side of male fertility is still barely talked about. This Men's Health Week, Shaun's message is simple: stop bottling it up, find your outlet, and let the people around you in.
Thank you to Shaun Greenaway for his honesty. You can find his peer support community at the Male Fertility Hub. And if you're thinking about understanding your own fertility health, our at-home sperm test with consultation includes results explained one-to-one by an NMC (Nursing and Midwifery Council) registered fertility nurse, so you're never left to interpret a report alone.
If anything in this article has affected you, support is available. You can speak to Samaritans free, any time, on 116 123. If you would rather a text service, you can text 'SHOUT' to 85258.
